Esquire magazine’s September issue has a new guide to growing old gracefully, the London Daily Mail reports, and it says men over 30 should never be caught with their underwear above their waistband.

Men older than 30 also should never stay in bed past 11 a.m., unless they are sick or on vacation “with the lads,” the guide says.

Anything to eat or drink that has “extreme” or “max” in the title must be avoided, according to Esquire, which says the guide is a slam against men who refuse to grow up.

Esquire editor Simon Tiffin told the Mail: “We were inspired by the sight on planes, trains and buses of too many grown men reading Harry Potter. They are kid-ults. We’ve lost the art of growing old gracefully.”

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